


(Don't You Remember?) When I Was A Bird

by 1Temmie_Official1



Series: Northern Downpour Sends Its Love [5]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fire Nation Royal Family, Fluff, Gen, Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Hurt/Comfort, I'm doing this to explain the inside joke, Internalized Homophobia, Kid Fic, Lesbian Mai (Avatar), Like, Mai (Avatar)-Centric, Mei uses she/they pronouns, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Mai (Avatar), Pre-Canon, This came out a lot more angsty than I expected, Title Based on a Panic! at the Disco Song, Trans Zuko (Avatar), Transphobia, Turtleduck(s), YES I am coding Ty Lee as ADHD don't @ me, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar), at the beginning, because it's pre-canon, excessive use of commas, shh I'm projecting, the characters are children, they're like 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27011743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Temmie_Official1/pseuds/1Temmie_Official1
Summary: Mei and Zuko's relationship throughout the years.
Relationships: Azula & Mai & Ty Lee, Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Mai & Ty Lee (Avatar), Mai & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Northern Downpour Sends Its Love [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957609
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	(Don't You Remember?) When I Was A Bird

**Author's Note:**

> Did I write a short one-shot to explain why Mei bullies Zuko about his favourite animal in that one scene? Yes. Yes I did.
> 
> OKAY PAST ME YOU GOT CARRIED AWAY THIS IS LONGER THAN EXPECTED AND 6X MORE ANGSTY

The turtleduck pond had always been Mei's favourite place. It was quiet, and Mei liked to be quiet. Being quiet was good, loud was annoying and loud meant she got in trouble. She liked reading scrolls, like the ones Lady Ursa had let her borrow from her library. Mei's gaze flitted over the characters _The young warrior was in love!_ proclaimed the scroll. Mei wanted to be a warrior someday. Maybe.

Her place under the tree was nice, it was shaded so the sun didn't reflect off the paper, the turtleducks liked to quack at her and sometimes she snuck seeds from her seed cakes to them. She never did care for almond-walnuts anyways, but the turtleducklings seemed to like them a lot. She looked up to see Zuko walking towards her.

"Hi, Mei." Zuko greeted. Lady Ursa was talking to Azula about something, Azula wasn't listening and was instead showing Lady Ursa her fire, and Ty Lee was doing cartwheels. Mei put down her scroll, blushing. Zuko was a friend. She didn't have many friends and having friends always felt weird, but Zuko was nice. Plus, she was the Princess, so Mei's parents wouldn't be mad at her spending time with her.

"Hi." She said quietly. Zuko sat down beside her.

"I like turtleducks." She said. "Yesterday my mom and me looked at the turtleduck nest and I saw the babies. Mom said that they're gonna grow up and learn to swim." She rambled. Mei put down her scroll.

"That's cool," Mei said, careful not to be too loud or excited. Zuko smiled brightly.

"I know! My favourite animal is turtleducks!" Zuko said, rocking back and forth, something she did when she was excited, Mei noticed.

"I read about the dragons in one of Lady Ursa's scrolls," Mei shared. "I think that dragons are my favourite animal."

Zuko gasped. "My mom once took me to see _Love Amongst The Dragons_ and it was great!" Mei smiled for once. They talked for a while, well, Zuko talked for a while, and Mei listened. However, all good times had to come to an end and Lady Ursa said that it was time for Mei to go home.

"Bye, Zuko." Mei waved.

"Bye, Mei!" Zuko waved back.

Was this what it was like, having friends? Mei found that she liked it a lot.

-

"Mei?" Zuko sounded nervous. She was wringing her hands together. Mei motioned for her to sit beside her.

"Yeah, Zuko?"

Zuko bit her lip. "I don't think I'm a girl." She- he(?) admitted. Mei's eyes widened. Zuko wasn't a girl? That made a lot of sense. Wait, if Zuko didn't have to be a girl, then did Mei have to be a girl? No, Mei didn't want to be a boy. No.

"Do you want to be a boy?" She asked. Zuko nodded. 

"I am a boy. 'Zula says that she had always wanted a brother, then she tried to set me on fire." Zuko said, smiling at the end. He looked a bit less tense, as if a weight had fallen off his shoulders.

"That's cool," Mei said. "Do you have a favourite animal?"

Zuko looked confused. "Yeah? Turtleducks."

Mei laughed, really laughed. "You could choose something cooler! Like maybe snapping-turtlegeese." She offered. Zuko shook his head.

"No, turtleducks are cool!" Zuko defended, pushing her lightly. Mei rolled her eyes.

"I'm 8 years old and even _I_ know that turtleducks are lame." Mei teased. 

Zuko gave a mock gasp. "You take that back!"

Mei took off running, and when then collapsed into the soft grass Mei felt truly happy to have a friend.

-

"Can you believe that the Princess thinks she's a boy?" Her father had said at the dinner table. Mei's mother furrowed her brow in scorn.

"I know, what has this nation come to?" Her mother shook her head. Mei stood up.

Her parents looked at her. "I feel tired, may I go to bed?"

Her father nodded. "Of course, but do try not to associate yourself with _people_ like Princess Zuko." The way it was spoken was like Zuko was not normal like he was less than human. Mei nodded, no emotion showing, and she went to her room.

She collapsed on her bed, head swarming with thoughts. Why was it wrong? It was just how people were- _just like how girls can't love girls, how **you** aren't allowed to look at Ty Lee like that_. She covered her head with a pillow as if it would dampen her thoughts. She remembers when Zuko told her two years ago how he was a boy. How since then there had been all these, these _thoughts_ running through her head, all asking one question: _Who are you?_ She had to be a girl, she wasn't a boy that was for sure. She was a girl, she liked boys ( _lie_ ), and she was good enough for her parents. _But_ She thought, _What if I don't have to be a girl **or** a boy._

That felt a lot better. Mei, who was in between, someone who didn't have to be either, who was her own. Who was _their_ own. 'She' and 'her' were good, but 'they' and 'them' felt good in a different way, maybe because those words were something that was purely their own. Mei could convince themselves, just for one night, that they were normal, that they weren't lesser, no matter what their parents said. It felt nice to possibly be accepted.

When Mei fell asleep that night, they woke up feeling better than they had in ages.

-

"Zuko," Mei began, getting his attention. Zuko turned to look at them.

"Yeah, Mei?"

"What do you think about people who aren't girls or boys?" They asked. Zuko brightened.

"You aren't a girl or a boy? You're like me?" Zuko paused. "Well in the way that we aren't girls."

Mei put on a smile. "Yeah, but girls are pretty." She thought of Ty Lee but mentally shook the thoughts from her head.

Zuko shrugged. "I think that boys and girls are pretty." Mei tried to think of themselves being with a boy and found it didn't suit her fancy.

"Not really." She admitted and realized her mistake. Zuko, if he noticed at all, didn't comment on it. 

"I think it's like swords," Zuko explained, badly imitating his uncle Iroh. "I like using dual dao, and you like using knives. There's nothing wrong with either, but, uh, yeah."

Mei blinked at him, unimpressed. "I guess the proverbs don't run in the family."

"Hey!" He suddenly thought of something. "Mei, is your favourite animal still a dragon?"

Mei groaned. "That was when I was 7. You still probably love turtleducks." They complained. Zuko frowned.

"Why do you always use that against me! It's not like your favourite animal is any cooler."

Mei pointed an accusatory finger at them, but there was no real weight behind it. "Actually, Axolotl-frogs can regrow their limbs! That's plenty cool!

Zuko wasn't able to refute that. "You've been keeping this up since we were 6."

Mei raised an eyebrow. "Well, you haven't chosen a favourite animal that's cooler than a turtleduck since then."

"Turtleducks are plenty cool!" Zuko said. It was childish, Mei realized, but they didn't really get a childhood. So maybe Mei did keep this up for years if only to pretend she was younger than her parents forced her to be than both their parents had forced them to be, younger than the world pretended they were.

"Not as cool as literally any other animal!" She had retorted. They didn't realize that was the last time life had been normal for all of them.

-

Mei went to the palace for the funeral. Zuko wasn't there. From what they had heard, Prince Ozai had tried to kill Zuko, that he was gone and had taken Lady Ursa and Princess Azula with him. That Fire Lord Azulon had died from the shock. That the new Fire Lord, Crown Prince Iroh, was ending the war after losing his son in the 600-day siege of Ba Sing Se.

Mei was forced to attend the funeral of the Fire Lord, but the moment she could she went to the infirmary. The twisting route to where Zuko was seemed to take hours but was also so short. Finally, they had made it to the doors. Taking a breath in preparation, she pushed it open. The sight sickened them. The first thing Mei noticed was a distinct lack of hair, only a phoenix plume was left on his head. There was a large bandage over the left half of Zuko's face, extending past his ear and partially down his neck, and she didn't dare, wouldn't dare, to think of what the wound beneath looked like. He was curled up in the fetal position, laying on his non-bandaged side, and for someone so talkative he was quiet.

They approached Zuko. "Zuko?" They whispered, careful not to spook them. He didn't appear to hear them ( _That made sense_ their mind supposed in a sickening truth, _his hearing is probably damaged beyond repair._ ). "Zuko." They said louder, worry seeping into their voice.

"He killed mom," Zuko said, sounding so much older than just 10 years old. His voice was raw and scratchy like he had been screaming- no, don't go there. "He wanted to kill me. He _tried_ to kill me." It was a revelation, a statement of fact. Mei sat down beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. Zuko tensed but didn't move away. _I love him_ Mei realized. As a friend, yes, but she had never felt love before like the love they felt for their friend.

"I'm sorry." The words were too little for the feelings that they felt, too small for the horror that happened to him. He didn't say anything, but he put his hand on hers.

They sat like that for longer than Mei knew and didn't move until Ty Lee came in. Mei flushed seeing Ty Lee but didn't think past it.

"How is he?" Ty Lee whispered.

Mei didn't know how to answer. "He's... not good." Ty Lee sniffed.

"It's horrible." She said, wiping tears from her eyes.

Mei felt Zuko tense, and they gently slipped their hand away from his grip. "I know."

Ty Lee sighed. "Sorry. Not like that it's just..." She reached towards Zuko but thought better of it. "It must have hurt so much."

"Yeah."

They all stood together, not physically comforting Zuko, but they had never all felt closer.

-

"I know why," Zuko said suddenly. The healers had deemed Zuko ready for light exercise, and Zuko was allowed to bend for small things. He hadn't bent, though. Mei didn't push the subject. Zuko didn't have much depth perception after the incident, so either Fire Lord Iroh, Mei, or Ty Lee had helped Zuko get around (he was still stubborn though, it was more of a precaution to make sure he didn't over exhaust himself). They were visiting the turtleducks by the pond when they had sat down to read some theatre scrolls.

"What do you mean?" Mei asked.

"Why they're my favourite animal." His voice took on a strange, choked quality. He wanted her to ask why, there was desperation underneath the surface.

"Why?" They moved closer to him and put their hand on his.

His eye was rimmed red as he answered. "Because they were my mother's favourite." He confessed. Mei remembered Lady Ursa well, she was nice and had talked to Mei about stories and- they would never be able to speak with her again. Mei realized.

"I know." She pulled him to her side as he cried, and she would be lying if she didn't shed a few tears herself. "I won't bully you about liking them." She promised. "Today." She added because she knew it would make him laugh, and it did.

"Thank you, Mei." _For everything._

"You're welcome." _I know._

-

"I'm so happy you could come with us, Mei!" 

Mei flushed but didn't let it show in her expression. "Of course, I can't let the most esteemed Fire Lord and his nephew travel without me, it is only the request of the royal family." She said, putting the driest sarcasm into her voice as she could possibly muster. Ty Lee grinned, and it was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen.

"I knew you had some humour in you."

Mei raised an eyebrow, biting back a grin. "Really? I didn't realize."

Zuko called them over. "C'mon, it's not like we're going to be breaking into prisons in theatre masks, it's only touring the Earth Kingdom."

Mei rolled their eyes. "I wouldn't put that past you, you once scaled a vertical cliff and then sword fought Piandao at the top." Zuko nodded because that was a good point.

Ty Lee shrugged. "C'mon, guys, it's not that crazy, I mean, I ran off to join the circus and taught myself how to block other people's chi."

Everyone stared blankly at her.

"Wait that wasn't common knowledge?"

Zuko groaned. "We don't have time to unpack all of that, we need to get going! Uncle is waiting for us."

As all of them made their way to the boat, Mei thought back to when she was a child, who would have known that the quiet child who would rather read than talk would have become one of the Crown Prince's best friends? After all of the insanity of the past 3 years, they were ready for new relationships and maybe to ask Ty Lee on a date. They were on the harbour, the opening of the metal boat inviting them. They snuck a glance at Ty Lee, who put their hand in her's.

And they set off into the boat as a new era of their life began.


End file.
